How to be less lonely

It’s a hard year, and sometimes the toughest part can be reconnecting to the rest of the world. When I first got out of lockdown it was hard to make eye contact, let alone talk to anyone. I found myself really alone, so I have made a list to help others.

1. Facebook groups

You can type anything you are interested in into the search bar and then filter for groups, you will be surprised with how many already exists. If by some small chance nothing is there, make one. 

I travel a lot and when I find myself alone in a city I search the city’s name and filter for events, and then I filter for groups. 

2. Meet Up

Meet-up groups are surprisingly amazing. Choose events that encourage conversations, like a diner party or speed dating. If you choose an event that is based around a performance or activity it might be harder to break in, but stay after and see if anyone is looking around like you. 

3. Gym Classes

Don’t be that guy (or whatever you are) that is overly excited to meet people when we are all dying after class. Gym class buddies take time, and when someone gets used to seeing you every day the transition into becoming a part of their life becomes much easier. Plus you’ll have a killer body and people will start to just walk up to you to ask you about it. 

Even if you feel like you are very out of shape and can’t join a class, you’ll be surprised. People will see you working hard and congratulate you on your improvements (here’s your chance).

Also, while we’re here, try yoga. 

Stop looking at me like that, it’s amazing for everyone. If you are injured coming in please tell your instructor. 

4. Obscure talents

Maybe you have always wanted to try hacky sack? Or maybe you want to get really into the Yo-Yo. There are so many communities that rally around these obscure talents. Even if you are not talented in these fields you can still join a group, people see when you are working hard to get better and they will support you. If they don’t they sound awful and you should leave.  Also obscure talents are fun at weird parties, you don’t know.

5. Support Groups

This might seem like an obvious one, but there might be a reason you have isolated yourself. Help yourself by finding a group with similar issues and reach out, sometimes knowing you’re not alone is enough. 

These can be found on social media or google obviously, but if you find it overwhelming please reach out in the comments.

6. Community Events and Trips

Community events can be hard because other people aren’t likely to show up alone. Try to volunteer at the event to meet the other volunteers. Remember that like most other things on this list, the more you show up the more people know you. 

The best way to make long-lasting friends is to have a vacation bonding experience. If you choose a bus tour or just an outing. Spending a few days with a bus full of strangers will make you all closer than you thought possible.

7. Get a penpal

You can get one on Reddit or a plethora of other sites. Pen pals are great for a long-growing relationship, but they may not replace your need for real human contact.

You may have to sift through a pile of literal penis pictures to get there, but man do I love a good pen pal. 

8. Go to a Rave

Alright look, I get that it might not be your thing. But if you are craving real human contact this is about as close you can get to strangers without it being weird. Plus because basically everyone is on ecstasy you should be fine with making friends. You might feel weird when you first get there, being alone and watching others with their friend groups. But I promise you if you power through it will be well worth it. Even if you don’t meet anyone to hang out with it will be amazing people watching.

9. Sporting event

Yes, people usually don’t go alone to meet others. But have you ever drank at a sports game? Everyone is your friend.

10. Go on a date

Fine, this is the worst piece of advice for someone lonely. Partly because you don’t want to put your problems on a stranger or make them the solution, but mostly because this can turn into something way more depressing than being lonely. So it’s a shot in the dark, but it’s a shot. Get on tinder or whatever you prefer and take a chance, just keep your expectations low. 

But please for the love of all that is creepy do a background check on your internet dates. If you don’t they could show up on crutches and giggle when they ask you to Google them

I hope this helps. As a bonus, you can try your local elderly bar, an American legion or Elks lodge should do it. It is nice to be around people who won’t look at their phones. Of course, your could volunteer at a senior citizen home, but who am I to judge?

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